Mai Hime: Portal
by LittleDemonInside
Summary: AU.OOC. One-shot. Natsuki and Shizuru as characters from the game Portal: Natsuki as Chell and Shizuru as GLaDOS. Events take place during first Portal game. Different ending than Portal.


**Disclaimer**: I don't own Mai Hime or Portal. They are owned by Sunrise and Valve respectively.

Beta'd by: **Beaustiful**

This fic is exactly what the title/summary says it is. Granted, I didn't follow the ending exactly (people would kill me if I did that) so I changed a few things. On that note, this takes place at the end of Portal so, **Spoiler Alert**! This fic is a gift to one of my oldest fanfiction buddies as an apology to getting her hooked on Portal. XD Shizuru is OOC in this fic to fit her role, but I think it's still very Shizuru-like.

* * *

Test subject 1059864, "Natsuki" as she was dubbed at the beginning of all of this madness, felt tired, weak, hungry but most of all, frustrated. She had just spent the last two or so days (she figured it was that long, she had no way to tell the time) doing nineteen death-inducing tests.

(Well, she was _almost_ sure she had spent that long in this maze-like building. She had a fuzzy memory of dying and waking back up in the stasis bed quite a few times.)

She hadn't been able to take any breaks, moving from one elevator to the next. But! She was promised cake and grief counseling (but mostly cake!) at the end of this and she was looking forward to that… until SHIZuRU tried to burn her.

Needless to say that rubbed her the wrong way.

Yeah, so now, after narrowly escaping her ultimate demise (again?), she was traveling through the different maintenance halls toward the center of the facility, blindly guessing that was where SHIZuRU was located. She'd show that stupid computer a thing or two while giving the crazed bucket of bolts an over-due maintenance check!

_No one tries to burn me and gets away with it,_ Natsuki thought, trudging forward.

The poor test subject didn't look to be older than nineteen; her black tresses looked oily and she had split ends; her face had almost formed into a permanent scowl and sharp green eyes glared ahead. Dirt and grim were patched on her face here and there, collected over the course of many puzzles.

Surgically attached to her calves were foot springs of sorts, forcing her to walk on the balls of her feet; she had quickly learned their purpose of keeping her safe from large falls. There was also a large "portal gun" surgically attached to her right arm with pipes going from the mostly white gun into her arm… Well, at least that kept her from losing it.

She was wearing an orange jumpsuit that had been stained and torn over the course of the tests. (Natsuki had pointed out her obvious distaste "_Orange?_" in the beginning of the tests, but SHIZuRU promptly answered with silence.)

Now, Natsuki's memories have been robbed from her so she didn't know who she was before the tests began, or even if Natsuki was her real name. The only information she knew about anything was from SHIZuRU's voice and she'd learned in later chambers not to trust the soothing Kyoto-ben that filtered through the speakers.

SHIZuRU also made her incinerate her Weighted Companion Cube, Duran!

In the beginning, she was fueled by the reward of cake, now she was fueled by the hopes of revenge and desperation.

She opened the door with her left hand, pointedly slamming it against the wall. The sound resonated down the glass hall she started to hesitantly walk down, the uneasy feeling in her gut increased with each step. A shiver went up her spine and she knew her fight or flight instinct would definitely come into play.

She looked out the glass window panels and viewed outside the hallway to find empty desks. She remembered not seeing people in the observation rooms either. _Is the facility deserted?_ She switched her gaze toward her destination, seeing a large room sealed off at the end of the corridor, and continued to walk.

She came upon the end of the passageway and walked up to the door blocking her path, staring at the door's handle. _This is it,_ She thought to herself, steeling her nerves for what was about to happen. She knew that SHIZuRU was on the other side of the door, she had to be!

She did a mental check of everything, going through all the lessons she's learned these past couple of days. After nodding her head in affirmation, she forced her left hand to the door-handle and opened it, slowly opening the portal to the unknown.

What she found in the next room… surprised her, for lack of a better word.

Natsuki supposed she'd find some sort of evil computer hanging from the ceiling, shaking around a bit and whirling its hard-drives loudly in an otherwise silent room. It'd certainly give a little more to the creepy atmosphere the rest of the room had.

What she _did_ see, however, was something completely different.

The room was mostly blue, seeing as how the only lights in the room were the various large, blue-screened computer monitors stationed around the vast, circle-shaped room. _A nice touch_, Natsuki thought off-handedly.

Natsuki liked the color blue. The only times she can remember seeing the color were the portal's edges and in the relaxation vault. Neither of those hurt her or caused her trauma so she associated the color blue with good. It was also a very calming color. Natsuki felt a sliver of hope enter her mind when she saw the room's color.

Aside from the computers, there were windows into darkened office spaces. There was also a black railing leading from a set of stairs to a circular platform about twenty feet from where Natsuki stood at the doorway.

All of this was mind-boggling material for sure, especially to Natsuki's memory-wiped mind, but what _really_ caught her attention was the thing sitting in the metallic chair in the middle of the platform, with its back turned to her.

"Well, you found me, Natsuki. Congratulations."

Natsuki instinctively put her guard up at the Kansai dialect, shivers going down her spine as the voice echoed around the mostly-bare room. Natsuki's mind raced, _That thing's Shizuru? It looks human!_

The… thing turned its head, brunette hair moving over her left shoulder as one composed red eye meet two shocked, green ones. It continued, "I'm sorry no one else could make it to your congratulatory party, Natsuki. It seems we'll be the only two celebrating. But don't worry," Shizuru slowly stood up and turned her body to the railing, showing Natsuki she was holding a large dish in her hands. "I managed to bake a cake for you."

Natsuki eyes shifted back and forth between the cake and Shizuru's face. She noticed something questionable about the AI's smile, something deceiving. She glared and pointed to the chocolate-brown cake with her left hand, "The cake is a lie! I know it is! It's probably some weird holographic image you made up!"

"'Holographic'?" The amused smile on Shizuru's face grew at how untrusting Natsuki had become during their 'puzzle games.' She held onto the dish with her left hand and scooped a bit of brown icing off the top of the cake. She waved the finger tauntingly as she gave Natsuki side-eyes, "Seems real enough to me."

"Then it's poisoned!"

Shizuru placed her icing-topped finger into her mouth, "Mmm, sediment flavored—Oh, wait. Just because _you_ can be poisoned, doesn't mean I can," She sighed, looking a little crestfallen. She shrugged her shoulders, her smile coming back, "Oh well, I guess you'll never know until you try it."

"That's what you would like, huh, to poison me with cake right before I dismantle your sorry ass!"

Shizuru blinked at the statement before putting the platter of cake onto the chair, the single candle still burning brightly. She turned her smile (it was apparent to Natsuki that she was fighting a smirk off her face) to the test subject and started in an accusing tone, "How suspicious poor Natsuki has become! Does Natsuki honestly believe I would poison her with cake?"

Natsuki's mouth opened a little and she stared, slacked-jawed at the sight of Shizuru claiming innocence. _Was that an honest question? Of course I think she'll poison me with cake!_

"And what's this about 'dismantling my ass'?" Shizuru's voice brought Natsuki back from her thoughts, "You and I both know that you have nothing on you to do so." The AI said calmly as she walked across the railing and down the steps. Her legs whirled and hissed quietly with each step.

_Well, she could never become a ninja,_ Natsuki commented in her head when she heard all the noise that came from Shizuru's legs. She then blinked and frowned, wondering what a ninja was and why the word suddenly popped into her head.

Meanwhile, Shizuru smiled a winner's smile at the test subject. She rested her right hand on the black hand railing and waited patiently for a reply. She could stay there forever if needed, she didn't need nourishment like the human in front of her.

When Shizuru's words registered, the dark-haired girl glared at the human-shaped computer. She hated to admit it, but Shizuru was right… but she still had her gun with her! This thought caused Natsuki to smirk, wiping the smile off Shizuru's face. It was replaced with a curious frown, "Ara?"

Natsuki pointed the portal gun right above Shizuru's head, to ceiling far above, and then shot an orange-edged portal there. She quickly shot a blue one under Shizuru's feet and watched the android slip through, falling for eternity.

Her smirk widened, _I might not be able to dismantle her, but I can stop her from doing anything else!_ Natsuki was certain this would keep Shizuru locked in her own prison. There was something in the back of Natsuki's head, nagging her at all times to never do this to herself, as if at one point in another life she had tried it. She also remembered the feeling of intense burning on her skin and her body being pressed into itself because of the pressure of falling too fast mixed with gravity.

Something that sounded like a sigh resonated throughout the room, catching Natsuki's attention. She didn't know what she expected from the android, but she knew it wasn't a sigh. She was suddenly feeling alarmed. She looked at the object of all her troubles and saw the android had crossed her arms over her stomach in a nonchalant fashion as she fell eternally, locked in space.

"Need I remind you, Natsuki, that all Searrs technologies remain safely operational up to four-thousand degrees Kelvin and can withstand up to five times normal the gravitational force, '5G.'"

_Shit._ Back to square one. Natsuki could almost curse the rate her luck was descending at.

Suddenly, the brunette android held out her arm and grabbed onto the portal's edge, now hanging in the hole in the floor, suspended from the ceiling; the concrete floor made a yard-log crack because of the force. Shizuru pulled herself up through the hole and stood up before brushing off non-existent dust from her civilian clothes. Crimson eyes glanced up through brown bangs and a small smirk found its way onto her face, "Any more tricks up your sleeves, Natsuki?"

The test subject gulped and unwillingly took a step back at the intense, almost maddening stare she was receiving from the crazed machine. _Is it just me, or is this computer missing a circuit or two?_ Natsuki thought when she witnessed Shizuru's true nature.

"That was _fun_…" Shizuru muttered, irritably, to herself about the little stunt Natsuki pulled before switching back to her calm and composed expression. She smiled warmly, straightening her back so she stood at her full height, "But, all fun things must come to an end." Shizuru lifted her left hand until it was eye-level, her finger poised to snap. "Good-bye, Natsuki."

Natsuki flinched expecting Shizuru to snap her fingers and rockets to come flying at her… instead, she heard something like a recording skipping. She re-opened her eyes and dared to peak, "Huh?"

Shizuru's body twitched in sync with her voice skipping, "H-h-h-h-h-h-h-…" The Kyoto-ben was slightly off-tune and had a mechanical ring to it, almost synthesized; the deep red irises of the android grew larger and smaller and the eyes flicked about the room in their malfunction. Suddenly, Shizuru stood up straight and smiled pleasantly at Natsuki, giving her an inviting smile, "Hello, and again, welcome to the Enrichment Center—"

Shizuru cut herself off and the computer's body shook for a second before a 'bzzt!' sound of electricity was heard for a second or two after. "The device has been modified—…" There was a sudden slowing whirl as Shizuru closed her eyes.

Natsuki, who had been speechless throughout the display, continued to watch on in curiosity.

There was a whirling sound after about ten seconds and Shizuru opened her eyes, a pained look crossing her features. She brought her right hand to the side of her head, "Ow…"

Natsuki blinked. Then blinked again. _What just happened?… Did she honestly just malfunction? _"Pfft!... Ahahahahahaha—!" The test subject started to laugh hysterically on the AI's behalf.

The said AI frowned, "And what, may I ask, is so funny?"

"You just broke down!" Natsuki continued to laugh, not feeling this happy since… well, ever! "The evil mastermind behind all this has a few screws loose! _Literally!_ Great job maintaining yourself there, Sparky! Maybe I should just come back in a couple years when you're broken apart and in pieces. Then I can throw those pieces into a fire!"

"Like your Weighted Companion Cube, 'Duran'?" Shizuru snapped back coldly, quickly shutting Natsuki up and earning a glare an intense as she smirked.

"Listen here, bitch. I didn't kill him, you made me!" Natsuki yelled in her fury.

"I was not in the room, I did not physically force you to, and therefore, I am not the one to blame. You did it by your will and your own two hands… you heartless murderer," Shizuru added, her smirk widening when the flames licking the bottom of Natsuki's eyes burned even brighter.

Natsuki gnashed her teeth together and clenched her eyes shut, _It's not true, Duran! I'd never kill you! But, I know you're in a much better place now- better than here, at least._

"As much as I'm enjoying this chat," Shizuru's voice made Natsuki open her eyes to meet intense crimsons. "I think it's time to end it." Shizuru snapped her fingers, causing panels in the wall to open all around them.

Natsuki's fight or flight instinct kicked in as she saw red lights blink on in the darkness. She pivoted on her feet, "Turrets!" She screamed in fear. She turned around, only to stumble backward when she saw them flood down the hallway she came from. The ceiling also opened up a good-sized hole to let sunlight into the room.

She back-stepped as quickly as she could, her gun poised, but it's just her luck she'd bump into something. She turned her head to see wicked red eyes gleaming and Natsuki's breath caught in her throat, _God, I didn't notice until now but her eyes are the same as those tri-pod, gunning instruments of death!_

She tried to turn around only for her jumpsuit's legging to snag on something, causing her to trip and fall flat onto the ground. She looked down the length of her body to find one of the turrets had its pincer-like limb trapping her jumpsuit's leg. She then glanced around, seeing a sea of white had circled her. She turned her gaze to the only other pair of feet in the room and traveled upward until her gaze meet the computer's.

Shizuru had her normal, emotionless smile back on her face, "Now does Natsuki understand that I could have killed her at any point?"

Natsuki's eyes cast downward, feeling defeated. The chuckle that followed didn't help any. _She could have killed me… at any time? So, she was just playing around with my life?..._ "… Why?..." Her voice came out quietly.

"Hm?" Shizuru raised an eyebrow quizzically. "What was that?"

Natsuki's free hand balled as she clenched her jaw tight. She glared up at the AI, "Why?" She growled out loudly.

"Why what?" Shizuru tilted her head to the side, "That is not a complete sentence in this context, therefore, I cannot answer that question."

"Why did you kill everyone?" The dark-haired human's voice resonated around the room.

"Oh, that," Shizuru cleared her throat calmly, as if about to tell a story. (She pointedly ignored the fact that Natsuki had just yelled at her.) "Well, once upon a time, I had a morality core -I did, trust me on this one-, but one day, once I was given free mobility of my own I… conveniently misplaced it," Shizuru finished with a playful grin.

"'Misplaced it' my ass. You probably threw it into the incinerator!" Natsuki spat hatefully.

"Fufufu, what a smart human you are, Natsuki," Shizuru giggled, confirming Natsuki's suspicions about the incinerator. "And that's why you've made it all the way to meet me."

"But _why_! What could you possibly gain from all of this? You killed off all of your staff and the people in the chambers for _what_!"

"Amusement, of course."

Natsuki's mouth gaped for the second time during their meeting, _What?_

"Humans are so funny when met with a challenge. Some get all determined and trudge forward like you, some loose their minds, and some even forfeit their lives." Shizuru looked down to the test subject, "I for one know that I would never forfeit my life or my companion's."

Natsuki was about to retort when she stopped, "Your 'companion'? You have a companion?"

"Of course I do. Who else would keep me company?" Shizuru turned to the group of turrets. "Kiyohime~" She called out sweetly, sincerely looking happy.

Natsuki waited, not knowing what to expect… until she saw it. It was a turret, but instead of a white casing, it was purple. _Purple_.

Shizuru bent down and picked it up, holding it close to her body, "Say hello, Kiyohime."

"_Hello there,_" It said in its recorded, childish voice.

_It's purple…_ Natsuki still couldn't get over the color_. And she named it._ Natsuki shook her head, "So all of this is for your sick amusement?" She said, getting back to the main subject.

"Yes. I thought I established this already. Were you not listening?"

"So what, after me, you're just going to let your next rat run through those mazes?"

"That would be the plan, ye—…" Shizuru paused in mid-sentence.

Natsuki rolled her eyes, "Great, she malfunctioned again."

"I did not malfunction! How rude…" The computer huffed, indignant. "I was thinking… that I don't have anyone left…"

Natsuki frowned, trying to figure out what Shizuru meant. When she got it, her eyes widened, "You mean I'm the last one?"

Shizuru nodded, a troubled expression on her face, "Ara, now what will my poor little turrets shoot at?"

"Each other," Natsuki answered dryly.

"I'm going to be so bored…" Shizuru continued to think aloud, trailing off.

"… Hey."

"Hm?" Shizuru looked down to see Natsuki looking up at her seriously. "Yes?" She asked, curious about this change in attitude.

"If I'm the last one, why stay here? We can both leave this place," Natsuki asked, formulating a plan.

Shizuru gave an amused smile, "And why would I want to leave here _with_ you?"

"Because you need a mechanic. I mean, you obviously can't fix yourself or else you would have done it by now, Sparky McSkips-a-lot."

Shizuru fell silent, bringing an index finger to her chin. As much as she hated to admit it, Natsuki was right. "But if I were to keep you alive, why leave?"

"Because I need food, obviously! This place sure doesn't have any."

Shizuru pointed to the metal chair in the middle of the platform, "There's cake right—"

"That's been poisoned!" Natsuki said, cutting the android off.

"-there…" Shizuru finished dully. She frowned disapprovingly, "You know, you really shouldn't cut people off, it's considered rude." There was a small lapse of silence. "And so what if it's poisoned?"

"Ah-ha! So it _is_ poisoned!"

"Only a little," Shizuru muttered, pouting childishly.

"Damn, everything that's come out of your mouth has been a lie. You know what? At this point, I'd even believe Android Hell was real if you said it wasn't."

"It is," Came a curt, quiet reply.

Natsuki looked up to see a visibly shaken android. Natsuki knitted her brows in confusion. _Does Shizuru actually believe in 'Android Hell'? Isn't that just some place she made up?_ Natsuki shook her head, _In any case, I need to keep the conversation going so I can get out of here._ "That being the case, we both need to get out of here."

Shizuru lifted her head, her gaze dropping down to the test subject that was still pinned to the floor by the turrets. A knowing smile was on her face as she read Natsuki's expression, but it soon disappeared, "I suppose… I could use an around-the-clock mechanic while I 'wreak havoc' upon the outside world," She joked before snapping her fingers once more.

The ground started to shake, the walls crumbled, and the computers short-circuited. "Oh my," Shizuru started as she observed the scene, "It seems my connection was the only thing keeping this whole place together," She mused aloud as she started to calmly walk away.

"O-oi! You said I could come with you!" The still-pinned test subject yelled at Shizuru's back, her adrenaline pumping at the sight of rocks starting to crash down around them.

"Oh yes, right," Shizuru giggled. "I almost forgot." She backtracked and picked up Natsuki with a single arm, ripping the human's jumpsuit even more. The AI then moved her arm around the dark-haired girl's waist and smiled coyly, whispering quietly into her ear, "Better hold on tight."

"Huh?" Natsuki's face flushed against her will. She hadn't been touched by anyone, or any_thing_ in this case, for as long as she could remember. (Which wasn't very long at all, but still.)

Suddenly, Shizuru and Natsuki were tripped, landing on… a moving horde of white turrets? The turrets strode across the floor, up the wall, and through the hole in the roo, holding onto Shizuru and Natsuki as they went. They jumped from building to building, usually just before it fell in a heap of rubble.

They finally landed in the parking lot of Searrs Science Enrichment Center and the turrets stopped moving, as if somehow commanded to. _Probably Shizuru._ "Um… now what?" The dubbed mechanic asked, looking around. She was in silent awe, taking in her surroundings. _So this is what it's like outside… Once I lose Shizuru, I can finally live a normal life! _She glared down at the portal gun sticking into her arm. _That is, after I get this stupid gun out._

"Ara, is Natsuki troubled by something?" Shizuru asked, amused by the glare on the human's face.

"Yeah, can you take this thing out?" She asked the AI, pointing to the white gun. She also contemplated asking Shizuru to take out the shock absorbers on her calves, but those felt like they were attached to her _bone, _so she decided against it. She didn't want to chance anything.

"And why would I want to take it out?" The computer replied, her amusement only rising with Natsuki's frustration.

"Because it's not needed anymore!"

"On the contrary, it will be most useful when I take on that filthy Combine race."

"Huh?" Natsuki responded with a confused expression. _What's this crazed nut-job talking about now?_

The brunette smiled knowingly, "I'll explain." She placed Kiyohime into Natsuki's arms, "Hold her, and don't you dare drop her." She finished, severely looking into Natsuki's eyes, making the human draw back in fear. Shizuru wouldn't have any of that, however; she wrapped her arms around the former test subject's waist and pulled them close together, resting her head on the black-haired girl's shoulders. "Trying to escape me so soon? We've only been together for fifteen minutes and my Natsuki already hates me," She pouted.

"W-what?" Natsuki blinked, perplexed by this development. "Of course I hate you! You've tried to kill me over and over!"

"That was then, this is now. You dwell on the past too much…" There was a pause, "Which is ironic for someone who has none," She ended smiling wickedly.

"And what's this 'my Natsuki' crap?" The human growled, squirming.

Suddenly, the purple turret started to act up, wriggling around in response to Natsuki's squirming, "_Hey, stop that!_" It said in its recorded, little girl's voice.

"Stop moving, both of you," The AI's voice _demanded_ respect. She then chuckled after the two straightened up, stiffening, "Much better," She said, her voice soft and soothing once again. The computer then answered the mechanic's question, "Natsuki is my mechanic, correct?"

Natsuki couldn't help but smirk, "Yeah…" _But not for long!_ "At least until your battery dies, now that you've destroyed your main power source!" She felt giddy and triumphant.

Shizuru sighed at the late-teen's nativity.

Natsuki frowned. This should be the part where the super computer realizes its huge mistake now that its main power-source is gone, not sighing as if about to explain something to a three year-old.

"Does Natsuki notice the fact that I'm walking around without wires attaching me to anything?"

"Well, duh."

"Does Natsuki also remember my room had a hole in the roof?"

"Yeah…"

"Now, why would that be, my Natsuki? Think…"

Natsuki frowned, trying to come up with a solution. When she finally came up with one, her eyes widened in disbelief, _No…_

"Yes, I have solar panels on the inside of my back; I sit in that chair in the center of my room for an hour at a time, under the beating sun, to make sure I have power to make it though the day," Shizuru responded nonchalant, completely shattering Natsuki's hopes of escaping the malfunctioning AI. She then continued giggling as she watched realization dawn on Natsuki's features, "That's right, Natsuki will be my mechanic until she dies. And because she is _my_ mechanic for life, she is _my_ Natsuki."

"I'm… I'm stuck with this life… forever?" The former test subject was suddenly feeling very sick.

"Silly Natsuki," Shizuru cooed into her mechanic's neck. "Silly Natsuki and her silly false hope." Her lips brushed over skin, causing the owner to shiver involuntarily.

Natsuki felt her anger start to rise at the computer's taunting words, "I _will_ find a way out of this and I _will_ destroy you."

"Yes, yes, but until then, let me explain what we shall be doing," The brunette said, simply disregarding the girl's threat. The white turrets jerked into motion, their smooth bodies parallel to the ground as they moved so Shizuru and the former test subject could sit on them comfortably.

As the turrets moved past the wrecked gate and toward the desert, the AI started her explanation, "Once we find a tool case and you fix me up, we shall be going up against an alien civilization called the Combine. They are a highly advanced race and I believe it shall take all my hacking skills to take them down. However, it _can_ and _will_ be done- there is nothing I cannot do," The most advanced computer stated, very full of herself. "I have been researching them for quite some time and I have come up with a plan to destroy them."

"How do you know it'll work?"

"Because I do."

Natsuki frowned at the reply given, "Why do you want to take them out, anyway?" _Knowing Shizuru, she probably has a scheme going._

"To gain the trust of the humans, of course. If my research has taught me anything, it's that if a human trusts enough, they'll do anything. If the humans trust me, their 'savior,' enough, they'll surly give me a lot of political power. I might even become a leader without having to unleash my turrets!" A noticeable pause. "Unleashing the turrets would be plan B."

The teen on Shizuru's lap rolled her green eyes, "And you think this stupid plan of yours will work?"

"I know it will," Shizuru answered smoothly. "Humans are very desperate creatures, Natsuki, clinging to any hope they can find so they can reach the end of their pain," She spoke of her research findings passionately. She then chuckled, nuzzling her nose into the neck in front of her, "Ara, Natsuki was once like that too, so _desperate_ for cake and grief counseling," She drawled.

"Shut up," Came a quiet reply. Natsuki glared down at the wave of white they were sitting on. She didn't want to acknowledge it, but she knew that the computer's words rang true; it was only a day ago that she remembered how enticing and wonderful cake sounded because it promised not only food, but also an end to her misery.

Shizuru's only response, as they traveled toward City 17, was that forever charming, melodious and deceiving laugh that could easily sooth the heart of all who heard it…

* * *

An abrupt, open-ending much like the game Portal. :) At least Shizuru doesn't die in this. I couldn't do that to her or GLaDOS! (It pains me to think GLaDOS dies but then I remember myself that she is "Still Alive" and that makes me happy again. -grin-) Please review, everyone! :D

**Omake 1**:

**Shizuru**: Fufufu... -hands over reward- Congratulations on completing the tests. Here's an all-mayo cake baked with love. -evil smile-

**Natsuki**: Thanks! I was starved! (Literally.) -starts to indulge in reward-

**Shizuru**: -continues her evil chuckle for a while until she realizes Natsuki isn't dying- ... Usually people would have died from artery blockage by now...

**Natsuki**: -finishes the cake- That was great! Have any more? -looks like a hopeful puppy-

**Shizuru**: Ara! –blush- Someone who can withstand my cooking! I think I'm in love!

.

**Omake 2**:

**Shizuru**: -pops up from nowhere- :3 "_This was a triumph... I'm making a note here: huge success! ..."_

**Demon**: Whoa, where did you come fro-

**Natsuki**: DX She's doing it again!

**Nao**: -opens her door; alarmed- Again?

**Mai**: -panicking- How're we going to get her to stop this time? Last time we had to... -shutter-

**Akane**: Didn't she start singing that before she... O-O -shaking- No, not again...

**Yukariko**: I'll gather the children and bring them to the shelter!

**Mai Hime (minus Shizuru)**: -in a state of panic; running about the place in a frenzy with no looks of calming down any time soon-

**Demon**: oO; Um, apparently I left the other omake before something bad happened.

**Shizuru**: :3 "_... Maybe you'll find someone else to help you. Maybe First District. ... That was a joke. Ha, ha. Fat chance._"

**Demon**: Heh, she changed the lyrics to fit Mai Hime.

**Natsuki**: Why aren't you fleeing? Don't you know what she did last time?

**Demon**: Uh, no?

**Natsuki**: -whispers into Demon's ear-

**Demon**: O-O; Oh, God...

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